


I Trust You

by inconsequentiallymomentous



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 12:23:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12388005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inconsequentiallymomentous/pseuds/inconsequentiallymomentous
Summary: What really should have happened in the tent scene when Lexa said "maybe we do".





	I Trust You

Clarke was both hurt and pissed off. The last time she had felt like this was when she found out that she was being betrayed by the Mountain Men. The time before that, she had found out that her mother had sent her father to his death. She had a feeling that this time wasn’t going to be any different.

Wasn’t the entirety of the alliance based on the mutual trust between Lexa and herself? Clarke couldn’t even begin to fathom how Lexa could have such a blatant disregard for her opinion. Did Lexa really believe that the way to salvage the alliance was by killing off all of Clarke’s “dangerous” friends? Even Octavia, Indra's Seken and Lexa's own warrior?

Clarke let her rage build as she travelled towards Lexa’s quarters, practically dragging the Grounder behind her. She swept aside the curtain and stormed in without announcing her presence just to spite the Commander. What the fuck was their problem with doors anyway? They could spend hours braiding hair, painting faces, and carving intricate designs onto chairs, but doors, of all things, doors were too time consuming?

“Focus, Clarke,” she whispered to herself before facing the Commander.

“It is disrespectful to enter without announcing oneself, Clarke of the Sky People,” remonstrated Lexa, though her heart lurched at the sight of the blonde.

Lexa felt her eyes momentarily betray her tone. She was capable of keeping a neutral expression around everyone, except for Clarke. She couldn’t help it, though. Whenever she was in Clarke’s presence, she felt years of bottled up emotion surge forth inside of her. Lexa found it intriguing that Clarke elicited a different emotion from herself every time she saw her, but it was always based on the memory of one person: Costia.

Lexa still hadn’t told Clarke that she had completed the death rituals of both of their first loves; that Costia was among the bodies that Clarke had burned. Nor had Lexa shared the fact that Costia’s death had come only days before that of Finn. Come to think of it, Lexa had only mentioned Costia once to Clarke; the day that Costia’s fight had truly ended.

Clarke sneered in response and threw the Grounder to his knees. 

“You sent him to kill Octavia?” Clarke asked, glaring at the Commander, “I told you she’s not a problem.”

Lexa challenged Clarke’s gaze.

“Leave us,” she said to her guard, not breaking eye contact with her fellow leader.

“No. I’m not letting him out of my sight,” said Clarke firmly.

Lexa turned to her man, “Stand down for now and wait for my command.” 

The Grounder nodded and turned to leave, albeit reluctantly. He could sense the heightened tension of the room, and didn’t want to leave his Heda. They all could. Lexa was no stranger to her feelings, and at the middle of the night when she was craving the touch of another woman, she succumbed to them and let herself become weak for Clarke. But this was not the time for weakness; Lexa needed to show Clarke that her own methods were the only methods that could be used on the ground. And, if that meant that Lexa had to lose one warrior in order to bring back thousands, then so be it.

Lexa was drawn from her thoughts as Clarke approached her.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t just kill everyone you don’t trust!”

“Yes I can.”

Clarke was getting dangerously close to Lexa. Knowing that their proximity only tempted the occurrence of what should not occur, Lexa turned away from Clarke and busied herself, but only after allowing herself the pleasure of looking Clarke up and down.

Whoa, thought Clarke. Only then had she realized how close the two women were getting to each other. She wouldn’t give up, though. Not yet.

“Well, I won’t let you,” Clarke pursued stubbornly, following Lexa through her tent.

“You were willing to let her die two days ago. Nothing has changed.”

Lexa hoped that Clarke would recognize the finality of her tone; that she would back off. Not only because she tired of this subject, but because she was starting to lose herself to her memories of Costia.

No such luck, apparently.

“You’re wrong. I have. I can’t do this anymore,” Clarke said, matching Lexa’s tone.

Clarke turned away, and Lexa was glad for the chance to recompose herself. The memories were getting more demanding, the emotions more difficult to suppress. Lexa let her mind drift to her and Costia’s first fight, but only for a moment. If she let the thought linger for too long, she would lose control, and that was not an option. Lexa turned her thoughts back to the situation at hand and forced herself into Clarke’s proximity, once again.

“Octavia is a threat,” warned Lexa, the authority in her voice undeniable, “If you weren’t so close to her, you’d see that.”

She was pleased with herself for recovering so quickly.

“It’s because I’m close to her, that I know she’s loyal. Her brother is more important to her than anyone. She would never endanger his life.”

Clarke paused after every sentence, hoping that it would help convince the Commander. She could feel her resolve fading, especially in Lexa’s presence. Something about the other woman made Clarke’s heart flutter. Her eyes, maybe; they were just so resolute. She lusted at the chance of making those eyes go wide with surprise and, preferably, pleasure, though she knew that could never happen.

“And you’re willing to risk everything on that? On your feelings?” asked Lexa, pulling Clarke out of her reverie.

“Yes,” said Clarke, having recovered slightly, “You say having feelings makes me weak, but you’re weak for hiding from them. I might be a hypocrite, Lexa, but you’re a liar. You felt something for Gustus. You’re still haunted by Costia. You want everyone to think you’re above it all, but I see right through you." 

As she spoke, Clarke advanced on Lexa, her anger at Lexa's insistence on killing Octavia mixing with newly found jealously for Costia. By the end of her spiel, she had Lexa backed up against a table, eyes teary and wide. She realized that she had accomplished her goal, but wasn't pleased with her means; mentioning Costia's name was a dick move. She wasn't pleased with Lexa either, though, so she decided to go with it.

Lexa swore internally. Her eyes were wide, and were beginning to water, and Clarke had noticed. Clarke. What was she going to do about her? Clarke was so close to her. She could feel every inch of her body, buzzing with electricity. Lexa didn’t enjoy her internal struggle between lust, remorse, and apathy. Oh, how she wanted to give herself up to her most primal need, and take Clarke right then and there. But she couldn’t just use Clarke to satisfy the urge. There was so much potential between the two of them, both politically and personally. If she and Clarke were to unify, the two clans would come together permanently, making them the most powerful known presence on the Earth. But she didn’t know if Clarke felt the same way, and Lexa knew that she would not be able to withstand another heartbreak. She was not being completely honest when she said that love was weakness. No, love was not weakness. Losing love, however, made Lexa weak. Giving herself up to her remorse was not an option either. She would not look weak in front of Clarke. That only left apathy, and so she forced herself to swallow her emotions, once again.

"Get out," Lexa forced, mustering the last of her strength.

"250 people died in that village. I know you felt for them, but you let them burn," Clarke pressed on, knowing Lexa was on the brink of losing control. 

Lexa resigned. Her face was too close to Clarke’s and her body was too alive. She looked to Clarke's eyes.

“Not everyone,” Lexa reminded gently, “not you.”

Clarke stepped back at Lexa’s words, completely and totally thrown off track. No fucking way. Lexa had feelings for her. Her. Clarke Griffin. She looked at Lexa, trying to make sure that this wasn’t just a battle strategy; that Lexa’s silent admittance was true. She glanced involuntarily at the Commander’s lips, her anger being replaced with the burning desire to kiss them and thereby replace the Commander’s silence with passionate moans. I wonder if she'd be loud? For the second time that day, Clarke forced herself to focus in the presence of Lexa.

“Well, if you care about me, then – trust me,” she managed, her voice breaking, “Octavia’s not a threat.”

Lexa sighed. Clarke was right; she deserved to be trusted. She had initiated the alliance, and if she and Lexa were to unify, trust would be absolutely essential. Lexa would have to be sure enough of Clarke to bond for the rest of time. For the second time that day, Lexa gave in to Clarke Griffin, Sky Person.

"I trust you."  
***  
“I trust you.”

Lexa thought back to the first time she had uttered those words: almost exactly eight summers ago. Anya had just adopted Lexa as her Seken, and was beginning to train her for her position as Heda. Lexa had seen eleven summers, and had emerged victorious from many battles, but had never been able to rely on anyone but herself. Her parents’ fights had ended while defending themselves during Lexa’s fourth summer, and she had hidden alone in the woods until Anya had found her. They had trained endlessly, Lexa wanting nothing more in the world than to become strong, to forget the little girl who hid in the woods. Lexa grew to treat Anya as a sister, and was finally able to believe that Anya would not leave her as her parents did.

“I trust you.”

Gustus. Lexa was nearing the end of her training, was taking on more responsibilities, and was given the opportunity to choose her personal guard. She was hesitant: how could she know that this person wasn’t going to harm her? Many moons passed as Lexa deliberated. At first, she thought strategically, searching for a warrior who had nothing to lose and nothing to gain from being her guard. She found no such warrior. Then, she began to consider warriors who were loyal to Anya and her family, but those warriors were already sworn to protect the current Heda. Finally, she went with her heart, and chose a warrior whom she had met only briefly, but who had been known for his prowess in battle and his loyalty to his people. Gustus.

“I trust you.”

Shortly after uniting the twelve clans, and Lexa’s appointment as Heda, the Azgeda had announced their distaste with the Trikru, refusing to be lead by such a young Commander, and offering many of their own warriors, including the general of the Ice Nation herself. Lexa declined, and realized that the Azgeda were likely to declare a war. With the support of the Woods Nation, Lexa arranged to send a few spies into the Ice Nation’s territory. Many warriors volunteered to fill this position, their dedication to their Heda unwaverable. Costia was among these warriors.

“You do not, Lexa. If you trusted me, you would let me go.”

“The Ice Nation is ruthless, Costia. You know this. What if you were to be killed?”

“Then I will have died valiantly, and my Commander will honour my death.”

“And what of me? What will I do?”

***  
Lexa looked to the sky, blinking the tears out her eyes, and sucked in a sharp breath. Her and Costia’s first fight had really taken a toll on her, as that was also the last time they spoke. Costia had ignored Lexa’s worries, and she had fought in the war against the Azgeda. Costia had been right, she had died in sacrifice for her people, the most valiant way possible. However, her Commander had not honoured her death. Lexa was not strong enough to end Costia’s fight, and so she had Clarke do it instead. Lexa had not been able to fulfill her duty as Commander, not without Clarke. Lexa had to put her trust in somebody, and she chose Clarke. She bit her lip, exhaling slowly, and looked to Clarke.

It seemed as though Lexa had resolved some sort of internal conflict, but Clarke couldn’t be too sure, as she was slightly flustered from seeing Lexa bite her lip. As much as Clarke wanted to take Lexa’s lip between her teeth and sate her need and curiosity, she needed to finish this conversation diplomatically, and acknowledge Lexa’s compliance.

“I know how hard that is for you,” Clarke says, her expression softening.

You have no idea, thinks Lexa, but I’ve trusted you all along. That was the easy part. What’s hard, however, is stopping myself from reaching out and pulling you close to me, especially now that I’ve tried apathy, and that my remorse has overcome me.

“You think our ways are harsh,” Lexa murmurs, “But it’s the only way we know to survive.”

“Lexa, I’m focused on more than just surviving,” Clarke conveys, “Don’t we deserve better than just that?”

For example, right now I’m focused on how your eyes haven’t left mine, and how our bodies are nearly touching, and how I really really want to kiss you.

“Maybe we do,” Lexa replies, and she goes for it.

Lexa reaches up and cups the back of Clarke’s neck, leaning in, but holding her gaze. Clarke, however, darts her eyes to Lexa’s lips before closing them involuntarily as their lips meet, thoughts of diplomacy expelled from her mind. It is slow and hesitant, and Clarke’s lips are oh-so-pliant under Lexa’s own. Lexa pulls back after a moment, but is happily surprised when Clarke leans forward slightly to meet their lips a second time. This time, there is no hesitancy, and Clarke finds her hands on Lexa’s hips, pulling her closer. They break apart again, but only for air. Lexa nudges her nose against Clarke’s, and is rewarded with a small smile that she feels against her own lips as Clarke kisses her once again. Before Clarke can deepen the kiss, however, Lexa pulls back, her expression serious. 

Clarke makes a small noise in protest to the lack of contact, but then stops abruptly as she realizes what she's doing. Blushing crimson, she backs up and releases her hold on Lexa.

Lexa watches Clarke's movements, and erupts into laughter when realization sets in to Clarke's features.

"You have no right to laugh, Commander Nose-Boop," Clarke teases, a smirk on her lips.

"Nose-Boop?" Lexa asks, confused.

Clarke leans in towards Lexa and places her hands on either side of Lexa's face. She then nudges Lexa's nose back and forth with her own. Laughing slightly, she pulls back and moves to lean next to Lexa against the war table.

"Nose-Boop," Clarke clarifies.

“Did you not enjoy this… Nose-Boop?” Lexa asks, punctuating her question by replicating the gesture on Clarke’s nose.

“No, I did,” replies Clarke.

“I have nothing to be embarrassed of,” Lexa shrugs.

Clarke smiles, and moves back to her original position: backing Lexa against the war table. She tilts Lexa’s chin upwards with her knuckle, then proceeds to trail her fingers down Lexa’s exposed neck. While her fingers play with the straps on Lexa’s armour, her lips trace their way along Lexa’s jaw, placing chaste kisses as they go.

Lexa keeps her hands braced against the war table, unmoving, letting Clarke set the pace. She revels in the feeling of Clarke’s lips repeating their pattern against her jaw, against her lips, against her pulse point, and against her lips again. She struggles to control her breath when Clarke’s fingers deftly unbuckle her overcoat, ghost over her arms, and slide the material off of her shoulders. She attempts to hold in the moans that threaten to escape her covered lips when Clarke’s fingers toy with the straps of her breastplate, and fails miserably once Clarke succeeds in removing it. When Clarke finds the hem of her undershirt, however, Lexa covers Clarke’s hands with her own, willing her to stop.

Clarke backs up from Lexa abruptly, and runs her hands through her hair.

“I’m sorry. I thought we… I don’t know. I thought you wanted this. I’m sorry. You pulled away when we kissed too. I should have realized.” she stuttered, flustered.

“No, Clarke, do not apologize. I want this, I want you. Truly, I do. Just-”

Lexa exhaled sharply, and willed herself to look at Clarke.

“I need to know that this is going to work. Before being Lexa, I must be Heda, and in order to satisfy both parts of me, I need to know that we will work,” Lexa closed her eyes, took a breath, swallowed, and forced herself to continue, “I trust you. I have since the day we met, after you brought back Anya’s hair. I trusted your doubts against Gustus. I trusted you enough to end Costia’s fight when I was too weak to do it myself. You proved yourself when you protected me from the pauna. And today, you have proven your fidelity once again by risking our alliance for Octavia. The problem, however, is that I do not know if you trust me.”

“Does that mean that Finn killed Costia?” Clarke asked, troubled.

“Costia was killed by the Azgeda, but she died on the same day as the villagers,” Lexa responded.

“I’m sorry,”

“It should be I who apologizes, Clarke. I made you bear my burden.”

“We bore it together, Lexa. We ended their fights together. I’m not mad,” Clarke said gently.

Clarke reached out and caressed Lexa’s cheek. Lexa cast her gaze downwards, unable to meet Clarke’s eyes.

“Look at me, please.”

Lexa obliged, her eyes pleading.

“I trust you, Lexa. I wouldn’t have initiated the alliance, stopped the pauna, or come to TonDC if I didn’t,” Clarke expressed, “I don’t know what made you believe otherwise.”

Instead of answering, Lexa pulled Clarke closer, her hands on Clarke’s back.

“Then we’re all clear,” she whispered, before kissing Clarke deeply.

Clarke ran a hand through Lexa’s braid, the other placed flat against Lexa’s abdomen. She had to move them, though, when Lexa pushed off her leather jacket, and had to hold them over her head when her shirt and bindings were pulled off. Clarke returned the favour immediately after, and had to pause once she had accomplished her task. Lexa’s markings were astonishing, Clarke thought. Taking advantage of Clarke’s awe, Lexa flipped the pair and proceeded to lift Clarke onto the war table. She positioned herself between the blonde’s legs, and kissed her with fervor. Lexa trailed her kisses down Clarke’s body, nipping slightly at her collarbones as she gently nudged the woman down onto the table. She skipped over Clarke’s breasts completely, much to the other woman’s dismay, and focused instead on marking her ribcage and hips. Her fingers rubbed up and down Clarke’s thighs, and eventually began to work the fastenings of Clarke’s jeans. Clarke all but pushed the bottoms down herself, and when Lexa’s fingers finally brushed over her core, Clarke arched upwards, aching for more.

“Lexa,” Clarke pleaded.

Lexa separated herself from Clarke when she heard her name, but only to remove the remainder of her own clothing. She urged Clarke farther back onto the war table, and followed quickly, straddling the blonde. Feeling Lexa’s naked body on top of her made Clarke ache in the best way possible. She reached up and traced the markings on Lexa’s abdomen, followed the lines of Lexa’s ribs, and then finally cupped Lexa’s breasts. She brought Lexa down, and pulled a taut nipple into her mouth. Clarke sucked gently on one nipple, and teased the other between her forefinger and thumb. After a moment, she nipped softly, and Lexa moaned her satisfaction. So, she is loud, Clarke thought. Lexa could feel herself starting to drip on the woman beneath her, and so she shifted their position until their centers were brushing up against each other. Clarke moaned, then, and began to roll her hips slightly, increasing the amount of friction. She released Lexa’s nipple, kissed the tanned woman again, and then ran her hands down Lexa’s body to settle on her ass, pulling Lexa into herself.

Lexa moved her kisses down Clarke’s neck again, but this time spent ample time on the blonde’s bosom. She nipped and sucked, tweaked and stroked, the combination of rough and gentle driving Clarke crazy.

“Lexa?”

“Hmm,” Lexa replied, as she kissed her way down Clarke’s stomach.

“You have a bed, don’t you?”

“Excellent point.”

Lexa got up and off the war table. She pulled Clarke into her arms, and carried her onto the bed across the tent. Placing the blonde onto the edge of the bed, she knelt down. Clarke, getting the idea, spread her legs, and settled them on Lexa’s shoulders. Lexa looked to Clarke before continuing, needing the affirmation that Clarke was ready and willing. Clarke nodded quickly, and pushed Lexa’s head to her throbbing core. Lexa licked a broad stripe from the woman’s slit to her mound, and then closed her mouth over the blonde’s clit. Clarke bucked her hips in appreciation, and tangled her hands in Lexa’s braids, encouraging her to continue. Lexa needed no encouragement, however, as she quickly added two digits, stroking the length of Clarke’s sex. She slipped a digit into the blonde, and felt Clarke’s walls clench around it.

“More. Please,” Clarke urged.

Lexa added a second digit, and started to pump her fingers in and out, all the while sucking on the blonde’s clit. Clarke’s breathing became ragged, and her moans more consistent.

“So. Close.”

Lexa could feel Clarke’s walls tightening around her fingers, so she curled them upwards, and Clarke went over the edge.

“Lexa!” she moaned.

Two guards rushed in.

“Heda, laik yu klir?” one asked.

As soon as they saw the two women, they averted their eyes.

“Sha, mochof,” Lexa replied, embarrassed, “Bants, nau!”

The guards left, not wanting to embarrass their Heda any further. Clarke, having recovered from her orgasm, was completely red. The Grounders really need to invest in some fucking doors, she thought.


End file.
